Pick Myself Up
by hazeleyedhottie
Summary: Not a one-shot anymore. Bella's getting over Edward, but is he ready to lose her completely? What happens if he can't deal with it anymore? Will she take him back? Or make him feel all the pain he's caused her? The songs in this are MINE! : Please r
1. Pick Myself Up

Set during New Moon

Disclaimer: Bella & Edward are not mine unfortunately (mostly for Edward) but the song on the radio IS! So don't steal it!!!!!!!!

**(EPOV)**

I can't believe I came back. I can't let her know, but I can't stop thinking about her. Like the plague you don't want to get rid of. Bad example, but this is a bad situation. How can I leave her when my head is consumed with thoughts of her essence? Tonight I'll leave, but not until then. I have to know that my angel is living the life I left for her...I have to know that she's ok...

**(Outside POV)**

Edward was sitting on a tree limb outside Bella's bedroom window. Fork's dim sun was slowly fading behind the covering of trees. Bella was in her room writing yet another letter to the love she'd lost and would never see again. Her radio is on and playing mostly break-up songs.

**(BPOV)**

_Dear Edward,_scratches this out _Edward,_ again scribbles all over the hated name _Stupid Vampire Boy,_

She started laughing hysterically before crumpling the paper and tossing in the general direction of the trash can. It wasn't worth it to aim; she'd miss anyways.

There was no real explanation to why she was writing him letters. She didn't know where he went off to so quickly. But it was her own way of letting it out. It made that giant hole in her chest close up a little bit. Being able to write angry words then crumple them up like they were his guts and throw them into the trash where they belonged. If she ever saw him again she'd never be able to say half the things she wrote down. But it was nice to say them to an invisible audience.

The song on the radio changed and she practically threw her pen down. Her small form raced out of the room and then back holding a hairbrush. It was her favorite song and pretty much the only reason she listened to this depressing station all the time. She held the hairbrush like it was a microphone and started singing along with the words that were engraved in her mind...

_The lies you fed me  
Eat away at my soul  
The truth it blinds me  
Like staring at the sun  
_

_All I wanted  
Was a fairytale  
Who knew that broken hearts  
Hurt so much  
_

_But now I'm mending,  
Now I'm moving on.  
Pick myself up  
I'm gonna be strong  
_

_I don't need a man  
Who's gonna bring me down  
Charming's out there somewhere  
Waiting to be found.  
_

_Sew your heart back together  
All the shattered pieces  
Shine it up like new  
There'll be a day  
Your love will come true  
But till then, Princess,  
Pull that needle through.  
_

_Make a wish,  
Blow a kiss to a star  
Maybe then,  
I'll find out who you are  
_

_I'm just sitting  
Locked up in this tower  
Waiting for the dawn,  
To make things new  
_

_I'm mending  
I'm moving on  
Pick myself up  
I'm gonna be strong  
_

_I don't need a man  
Who's gonna bring me down  
Charming's out there somewhere  
Waiting to be found  
_

_Your love will be true...  
Just keep waiting  
Reviving your heart..._

She sat down on the edge of her bed; completely out of breath. If only he could see her now. She wasn't completely broken anymore, but he still consumed her entire life. He was all she thought about. It didn't hurt as much anymore either. The ache seemed to be numbing. If he came back right now and apologized and promised that he'd never leave again she'd take him back. Maybe make him suffer a little bit, but she'd never let him go.

Even if he didn't come back there was no way that she was going to let him go. She'd prove him wrong. There was no "Mike Newton" in her future. No incredible human experiences. Without him there weren't any real "diary-worthy" experiences or anything she'd like to remember in general. He'd always live on in her heart...

**(EPOV)**

Edward steadied himself on the branch. He'd almost lost his balance from the words that came out of Bella's lips. He couldn't come back now. She didn't want him anymore. She was over him. Like that paper in the trash can. Old news and gone forever.

But what if she was still waiting for him? What if that's what she meant in the song? That she was getting over her heartbreak, but she still wanted him as the love of her life. It was all too confusing to try and comprehend.

Maybe someday he'd come back to check up on her. But right now he needed to clear her from his mind completely. He needed to move on too. There was no possible way he could fall in love again, but he could still "live".

**(Outside POV)**

Edward climbed slowly out of the tree so he could make sure he was concentrating on what mattered, rather than Bella. However, since he was going so slowly, Bella happened to look out the window and see his descending form. She gasped, but released the captive air a moment later when she dismissed it as her imagination.

If Edward had really been there he would've said something...right?

_Ok, I know that was definitely NOT the best thing ever. But I kinda just wanted to get my song out there. :) So please review and tell me what you think of it! Love always, HazelEyedHottie_


	2. Someday

By request I am continuing this story so I guess it's not really a one-shot anymore. lol. But anyways here it is. And thanks stupidlittlelamb, Arykianna Cullen, and 2day-2morrow-4ever-2gether for your reviews!

Disclaimer: Same as last. Only the song is mine. Though I wish I owned Edward...but really who doesn't? lol. ;)

**(BPOV)**

It's been about three months since I thought I saw him outside my window. I could almost swear he was still around. It wasn't just the velvet-smooth voice that rang in my head when Mike was hitting on me. It's like his presence still lingers around here.

But that couldn't possibly make sense. He left and took everything with him. There isn't anything to remind me of him. Well, there was my pathetic diary entries, but seeing as I was dazed whenever he was around and all the words in my head turned to mush.

I'm getting tired of missing him. His voice is starting to get annoying. If he doesn't love me why can't he just leave me alone? It's not that I don't want to love him and miss him, but I want to get over him too. That's the reason he left so my logic says that I should get over him and love someone else in order to show my love for him by obeying his wishes. Complex, but oh so simple.

She had to drown out these feelings. Music was the only thing that worked, so she turned on the radio; only to hear a the announcement of a new song by the same artist as her favorite one. Her small fingers turned the volume up so loud that you could feel the bass. Charlie wasn't home and there weren't any close neighbors, so she couldn't get in trouble. She fell back on the bed and listened to the lyrics.

_There was a time  
When I would give  
Anything  
Just to see your face  
To hear your sweet voice _

But now I'm wishing  
For someone else  
To come into my life  
And take your place

Though the path behind is broken,  
Twisted and charred  
There is strength  
That will live on  
Within my heart

Maybe you can't see it  
Or baby, you just don't know  
In spite of everything you say  
I'll get my fairytale  
Someday

Like a bird ignores  
All the falls  
When he's learning how to fly  
Like the salmon  
Keep on swimming  
Forever against the tide  
Though sometimes it may seem  
Like it is all too much  
Never give up  
Hold on  
For Someday

Maybe you can't see it  
Or baby, you just don't know  
It's coming soon  
You know it's true  
Every dream at last  
For real

In spite of everything you say  
I'll get my fairytale ending  
Someday 

She sat up and wiped away the liquid at the edge of her eyes. This song was definately on her list of favorites now.

Edward wasn't her knight in shining armor anymore. He was just another loser in aluminum foil who'd been trying to impress her. Exactly the same as Mike Newton, just using different tactics.

The truth, even though she could not admit it to herself, was that Edward could still be the perfect prince of all her dreams. But to earn that title back he'd have to come rescue her once again. And save her from herself.

**(EPOV)**

He'd just heard Bella's new favorite song by seeing Alice's vision of her future. She was going to say "yes" to Mike Newton! Even though that was what he'd known would happen if he left it still hurt to think that she could do something so horrible. He couldn't let it happen; the jealous side of his personality was kicking in.

He had to win her back... but how???

_Hey guys! I continued it for you:) This song is also mine. I'll keep going with this for a while. I have some ideas now. Hopefully you'll like them. Next chappie- How will Edward win Bella's heart back??????? Until then, HazelEyedHottie_


	3. Broken Heart

Disclaimer: will remain the same until the end of the story. the song is mine, but everything from Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

**(EPOV) about a week later**

Today was the day Alice saw Bella saying yes to Mike, so I had to hurry. Everything was on the line now. The future, my heart, Bella's sanity. Everything was meshing together in a huge mess. If I didn't get there soon I'd be too late and everything would go opposite to my plan...my plan to win Bella back and keep her from the fate that went along with Mike. I have to win her back...I won't survive if I don't...and neither will she...

**(BPOV)**

I was digging through my closet when I found a deep blue top Alice had bought me on our last shopping trip. It had looked gorgeous on me at the store, but I had, of course, thrown it out of sight. But it would do perfect for today. Shake the dust off, let it see sunlight again. I have to absolutely amazing today...I'm planning on saying yes to Mike when he asks me to the winter dance. I know when I got here I was completely anti-Mike, but he seems to be the best option since Edward left. And let's face it, old Eddie isn't coming back for me. I've waited, turned down about a million offers, cried so many nights-pleading to the stars for him to come back to me. But it's not happening. Not now, not ever. So I'm moving on.

Mike is as good as any other guy, maybe even better than them. So I'm going to give him a chance. And it's crazy but I actually have butterflies in my stomach and everything. Just like I would if I really liked him. Maybe I do, but Edward was only keeping my attention away from another guy who was just as amazing.

**(EPOV) **

The tires squealed as I pulled into her driveway. Her red truck was still there so she had to be inside. It was a little early for her to be leaving anyways. I couldn't just go up to her and beg her to take me back, I knew that.

I stepped out of the car and walked silently up to the door. Deep breath (even though I didn't really need to breathe). I taped the piece of paper I'd been holding to her door securely. This was it. There was no turning back now. I pushed the doorbell & ran back to my car. I was gone before it stopped ringing.

**(BPOV)**

_Ding Dong_. It was too early for anyone to be ringing the doorbell. Unless they were in some strange dire situation and looking for Charlie. I opened it, but there was no one there. Just an ordinary foggy morning in Forks, Washington.

"Hello?" I asked into the mist. No one answered. I shrugged my shoulders and was turning around to go back inside when a note on the door stopped me.

_Bella_ It was in his writing. It'd been a while since I'd seen it, but it was impossible to forget its elegance. I looked around again. He couldn't have just been here. Could he?

I took the note down and closed the door behind me. What would Edward be doing in Forks? I opened it carefully. It was almost as if I was expecting him to jump out of it and scream Surprise. My mouth dropped at what I saw...

_After rainbows fade away  
Coldest storm without light of day  
Like a night whose clouds cover stars  
Without you, this is the state of my heart_

Child, alone, wandering the mall  
That is how you left me, after all  
Heart is broken, tears fresh shed  
Almost wish that I was dead

Dead heart still beating,  
Broken wings cannot fly  
I am bleeding,  
But I know I'm alive

Hope is now stolen,  
Dreams broken and crushed  
When will just me ever be enough?

Fingers speak more than my words  
All of this music plays my hurt  
Move on from the pain you give  
Change the key, find the strength to live.

_Bella, Please come to my house after school today. I have to tell you some things in person. Edward_

My jaw was practically sitting on the ground. He was here only seconds ago. It sounded like he'd gone through everything that I had. And now I'm not sure exactly what he wants, but he's back! I can't say yes to Mike when Edward's here...can I? What if he decides to leave again? What'll happen to me? Would there even be another chance with Mike? Should I just say yes and then change my answer if Edward promises me he'll stay?

_Hope you like this chapter! Sorry it's been so long! Please review! Love, HazelEyedHottie_


	4. Bring It On

Bring It On

**(BPOV)**

The truck pulled up to the school startling some people by its loud roar as usual. I got out and rushed to class seeing as I had been distracted long enough to make myself a little late. My body passed through the door to my Algebra class room just as the late bell rang.

"Isabella, _please_ try to be here a tad bit earlier tomorrow. We can't have you missing any of the fun now can we?" Mr. Smith said in his monotone voice. Goodness, you'd have thought I was actually late rather than just stepping into the class room as the bell rang. It wasn't my fault that my vampire ex-boyfriend, who had brutally left me several months earlier, decided to drop by and leave a depressing poem accompanied by a note on the door telling me to meet him later on today. It wasn't something stupid like I stopped to tell Jessica that her earrings didn't match her belt or some other ridiculous comment. I've been in this class for a while now. It should be pretty obvious that I'm a good student.

I took my seat quickly and class began as usual. Mr. Smith was droning on and on about aluminum foil or something. Who knows. Algebra really wasn't my forte, but everyone was required to take it to graduate. It was definately easier when Edward was around and could check my work for me. But that time had come and passed.

About half-way through the class I gave up on attempting to pay attention and thought about what I was going to do about Edward instead. It was such an unexpected thing. The exact day that I was going to say yes to someone else. Alice was obviously involved.

But what was I going to do? Should I take him back immediately and act like nothing happened? Or tell him that it was too late and stick with Mike because he was safe? It was easy to look back on all the good times when everything was all sunshine and daisies (besides the whole James trying to kill me event). There hadn't been anything that could make me unhappy because I had him. He was everything; my life, my happiness, my soul.

_I remember when you cared_

_When you said you'd always be there_

_When the rain fell, _

_But you still made me smile._

But what about after he left? When absolutely everything that could've possibly fallen apart did fall apart? When the very thing that made my eyes burn and my stomach turn was he who once made every piece of my being sparkle like diamonds?

Even though he tore me apart was there a chance he could make me happy again? Or was it too long a shot? Would I really be able to be happy with Edward again??

_Now the saltwater falls again_

_In this fight no joy can win_

_An endless night_

_I'm just waiting for the dawn._

My mind immediately answered "Yes". My love for him was too strong to break because he hurt me once. It was impossible for me to even think about the possible consequences of being with him again. They don't matter. I'd trade an eternity of the pain he caused me for one more minute being loved by him.

If Jessica knew what had actually happened she'd tell me to forget about him because he wasn't good enough. But how can you forget someone who touched you so deeply? How can you let go of someone you gave your whole heart to? It wouldn't be possible for anyone to do. Sure you could pretend you've moved on and create an interest in someone else, but when it came to the end you'd still love the one who hurt you. The memory of the heart is everlasting and uncomprehendable.

_So bring on the day_

_Bring on the life_

_Give me one more chance to fight_

_I won't back down_

_I'm on steady ground_

_There will be joy once again_

_So, Bring it on_

"Ms. Swan, can you please solve the equation on the board as it is written in your notes?" Mr. Smith interrupted my thoughts. I looked down at the paper sitting on the desk in front of me that I was supposed to be taking notes on. There were notes all right, but they looked like they were for English in a discussion of poetry. I looked up at the chalkboard desparately.

"Umm...Pie to the 3rd power?" I guessed.

"Please pay more attention to class rather than doodling, Ms. Swan". I shook my head 'yes' rapidly. As soon as Mr. Smith went back to teaching I looked down and read what I'd written while I was off in my own world. A poem? I'd never been any better than decent at writing poems. Jessica, being herself, reached over and snatched the paper off my desk. There was a quiet gasp as she read it. She passed it back with a note on the bottom.

"Bella, I thought you were over Edward!! You were going to start dating Mike, remember?? The guy who's been your puppy dog since you moved here?? Edward destroyed you and left you alone and broken. How could you forget that??" I sighed. So predictable.

"Jess, you can't really get over someone you love. Not like crush-love, but actual love. I gave Edward my heart and I couldn't take it back when he left. I don't care that he hurt me. I love him. I've always loved him and I always will. I don't know how or why; I just do. Please try to understand. I can't let go of him." I ripped what I'd written off and passed it back to her, but just as i was reaching over to her Mr. Smith turned back to the class. The note was torn in pieces and thrown in the trash.

"Now Isabella, I know you enjoy not paying attention, but please don't disturb the more dedicated students" he said before turning back to the board once more. I grabbed a new piece of paper and started to write down the equations on the board. It didn't make any sense to me.

But one thing that I could understand was what I was going to do about Edward's return and the issue with Mike. There was no questioning it now- it was practically set in stone. I was going to see him and this time I wasn't going to let him just walk out on me.

_Hey guys! I couldn't remember the Trig teacher's name, so I just put in a random one. Anyways, hope you liked the new song and this chapter! With any luck I'll be updating soon, but although it's summer I still have a bunch going on. Go figure. But please review and maybe it'll come faster!! ;) Until next time- HazelEyedHottie_


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